Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why does the UK Labour MP Jess Philips seem to be such a divisive figure?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I can read

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fakery

What is the reason for the high rate of unmarried individuals in America, particularly among males?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Can you explain the difference between an ego, soul, mind, and consciousness?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I can count

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Is depression a cause for always feeling tired?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What is life without a job?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why did Trump’s team spin the lie that Melania Trump spoke several languages? Do they not realize she can hardly speak English after living in the US for over 40 years?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Have you worn a tight black mini skirt?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

While on the surface of the moon, why isn’t the Apollo 11 spacesuit inflated like a balloon from the 3.7 psi internal pressure?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I see through liars

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”